Today I kicked a bouncing ball into a crowd, it didn’t hit anyone 
. Then I slipped back on a hula hoop awkwardly, now I have a bruise on my forearm.
New Words
Today me and my friend made our own word called shugm the definition is (nothing) and everything except itself, we made rules for it then three minutes later forgot the name, it was very effective. TIWWAS.
Bad Timing
Today someone broke into my house and burglarized me. Yesterday I installed a new security system and I was going to figure out how to set it when I got home tonight. TIWWAS
My Big Test
Today I had a huge exam. I had to go to the bathroom really bad but my teacher would not let me go. With 20 minutes left I peed in my pants and some of it driped on the floor. TIWWAS
My House Is On Fire!!
Today, I spent 10 hours building a house in minecraft and after I was done I accidentally lit my foot on fire burning down my house and killing my guy. I’m 15 and this was on my Saturday night. TIWWAS
I Was Hacked!
Today I woke up and had 40 text messages. My Facebook account was hacked and on everypersons wall including my parents it wrote “I am horny tonight and want to bang you.” My girlfriend called me and dumped me and one ugly girl said “I would love to have fun with you.” TIWWAS
C’mon Mom!
Today my girlfriend dumped me and on my facebook wall I wrote that I don’t feel complete. my mother was the only person to comment and she said “no one really cares” 99 people liked the comment. TIWWAS
Thank You Internet!
Today I lost my virginity and I would like to thank wikipedia for everything I know about men and sex. TIWWAS
Thats Not a Face?
Today a girl told me her face was not on her chest. TIWWAS
So You Are Saying Your Husbands Stupid?
Today I asked my teacher why all politicians are stupid. She told me her husband was a politician and I was in risk of failing class. She also told me my parents were getting a phone call home tonight. TIWWAS
That Wasn’t a Compliment :(
Today in school I said jokingly to the girl I like “your so hot when I saw you my penis went through your ass and out your vagina. ” she said “you probably need a tweezer to jack off.” TIWWAS
She Called Me An It!
Today I said “I want to do it!” my crush said ”that’s why IT’S single.” TIWWAS
NO, I Think It’s The Other Way Around…
Today my boyfriend dumped me and said “it’s not me, it’s you.” TIWWAS
Dam Turtle
Today I went biking with ten of my friends and there was a massive turtle in the road. The person in the front swerved and all of us fell ontop of him, I now have a broken leg. TIWWAS
What’s That?
Today I was rock climbing with a harness on in gym. My balls were hanging out then girl I like said “holy crap that’s a some cameltoe” TIWWAS
ROID RAGE!!!!
Today at the gym I was spotting a man benchpressing 200. He threw the weight behind him and hit me in the head. I got 17 staples in my head. TIWWAS
Wrong Leg
Today I kicked my friends leg because he said it hurt and they were limping, then I realized it was the wrong leg and now they have trouble walking on both legs. TIWWAS
The Cool Crew
Today, I was playing basketball with my best friend on a 3 foot hoop and we were being really enthusiastic. Two kids around ten looked at us and said “at least were not as pathetic as them.” we are 14. TIWWAS
You Can’t See The Invisible Muscle
Today I changed my middle name on facebook to “gunshow” and ten girls wrote on my wall “WTH? Your a stick” TIWWAS
Is It That Boring?
Today I lost my virginity to my girlfriend of three months. While we were having sex she said “can you jizz already? I’m really bored.” TIWWAS
